Enrichment: Can't live without it, can't live with it

I cringe whenever my friends with primary (and yes, even preschool) age kids talk about their packed evening and weekend enrichment schedules. I cringe because I can identify, and I see how easy it is for us - well-meaning parents - to get caught up in a race that's become more about academic excellence rather than academic help for those who truly need it.

Our own enrichment woes are about Chinese. Although I've tried to keep B's time free for play and bonding, this is one area where we need help in. I harbour no illusions that B will be a top scorer in advanced Chinese, but I do want him to be confident academically when he enters local primary, and not let poor Chinese be his Achilles heel in school, and later on in life. Currently, I haven't found the right program since B graduated from the parent accompanied playgroups at Chengzhu as the timing and method are not suited for my kinesthetic and auditory learning boy. We've tried 1-to-1 tutors at home but B's too young and lacks the focus to engage 100% with them - and besides, playing and interacting in Chinese with him is something I can do myself. I'm not ready to leave him alone in a brand new (fully Chinese!) environment as he just started half day nursery. So in the interim, we signed up for weekly mom-and-tots flexi sessions at Bibinogs till B turns 2.5 years, hopefully enabling us to enjoy our last few months in class together. Going forward, I'm still searching for a more structured yet interactive class that mixes outside and at home learning. Maybe we'll trial Berries or Hua near us in a few months when he's ready for another drop off. I'm also in the midst of sourcing more Chinese toddler books and DVDs, but the caveat is this banana-mama needs hanyupinyin to make any sense of the characters :( At the moment, the only time he willingly speaks Chinese is when he sings - a start, I guess :)

All that said, before you go tiger mom enrichment-crazy on your kid, watch this video - a reminder that too much of a good thing can be more harm than help. Let's not kill their interest before it has a chance to bloom!

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Releasing your child to (pre)school

B has been attending half day preschool at Odyssey for a week now. I drop him off by 845a and pick him up after lunch around 1245p, in time for his mid-day nap back home. He did us all proud, adapting better and faster than expected. There were less tears, increasing confidence and engagement in class, and even "thank yous" and "byes" to his teachers, friends and favourite things in school (i.e. gardens, school bus) by end of the week.

 

 In fact, he coped better than I did after 2+ years of being together (almost) 24/7. In their first week newsletter update, his teachers were clearly pleased with his progress - and probably relieved too!

Once we decided on "where", I spoke to a few friends, read Elizabeth Pantley's The No-Cry Separation Anxiety Solution and Stormie Omartian's The Power of a Praying Parent to prepare for "how" and "what if". Here's stuff I didn't know or fully appreciate until B started:

1) Visit with your child as often as possible before class starts, taking photos to recall. I made memories by adding little pages for his journal which worked better than any "going to preschool" kid book because they were real, some with pictures of him in them! When day 1 came along, B was familiar with the names and images of his school, class and teachers. Ideally, we'd have loved to accompany him to playgroups at school or with his classmates beforehand, but we didn't have this option.

2) If possible, ask to be the only new child in the class, say for a 2 week period, and avoid starting after a long holiday as many "experienced" kids still get separation anxiety on the first day back. This ensures sufficient attention and no peer crying effect which stresses out everyone around. A fellow mom friend shared how 5 kids in her child's class (different school) cried for almost 3 hours until they vomited. Teachers were quite overwhelmed and parents clearly distressed!

3) Crying at drop off is normal. Crying at pick up is also normal. BUT it doesn't mean your child has been crying all day! The tears usually stop once teachers are given a chance to take over, distract and calm down your child. By mid-week, B cried for less than a minute at drop off and pick up and after that, he was all smiles, no tears. The key here is to TRUST, reflect a positive mood and (the toughest part) LEAVE. I hung B's water bottle around his neck which also ensured he was hydrated, and always had a towel ready, i.e. his comfort object since he was an infant. I had my doubts too at the beginning as I wandered around waiting for the call or tears which never came thankfully, all the while trying to spy in while not letting them see me. Eventually, I told myself to let go. Let others get to know and take care of him. Grant them your trust and allow them to keep earning yours and his. Also, enjoy the well-deserved morning off, mama!

4) It can feel like your child's regressing. B was koala bear clingy over the weekend (we started on a Thursday) and had disrupted naps because he'd catnap in the car on the way back and not nap enough once home, or would wake up crying for me and wouldn't go back to sleep without me holding him. Over the weekend, I reflected and determined to not be hasty - all of this eventually resolved or would resolve. And B would also continue to grow in character, knowledge and imagination. I just need to remember to project love for him, encourage interest in school and model respect for his teachers. Believe he will thrive!

5) Release your child into God's hands. To quote Omartian: "We can't be everywhere. We can't see everything. We can't know everything. But God can. Acknowledge our Father is in control of our children's lives and ours, and we will have greater peace." Amen!

Of course, I miss B everytime he's in school and am trying to maximise our remaining time together with bonding and NOT mere enrichment - begone you tiger mom urges! Meanwhile, I'm enjoying this extra time for devotionals, pilates, The Whiz Times, books, brekkie/brunch catch-ups until my schedule changes again :)

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Tidings of comfort and joy

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! This advent season, I wanted to impress on B the true meaning of Jesus' birth and how it is not just about gifting but also the act of giving, and God's ultimate gift of life. Although it was hard to break free from all the commercialism, we found a few simple ways to reflect this while still doing our fair share of Christmas mall hopping :)

We made an advent calendar from B's artwork with clear plastic pockets to mark the 24 days, which was December 1 to 24 this year. I liked how this simple template could be re-used many times for things like learning numbers, letters, words, days and months, etc. Each day, we prayed for specific family, friends, those in need, our country and world, ending with the fruits of the spirit -- which B coincidentally learned in Sunbeam (Sunday School) year. On Christmas morning, we visited a single mother of 5 kids as part of our church's community blessing project before joining our cell group for food and carols. I look forward to more fun, faith-based activities as he grows up. For 2014, we could try this weekly series based on proverbs, more on the fruits or even try working through this catechism as our church's awesome new Devotional Journal weekly family section doesn't quite work for young tots.

Of course, we also covered the usual Christmas craft and books. Between work, colds, family visits, playdates, parties and our year end holiday to Hong Kong, we couldn't complete a nativity project or join many church events. After reading some books and our toddler bible, B recalls the nativity story by acting out a pregnant mama (Mary), old hunched men with presents (three wise men) and a wailing baby (Jesus).... It's a start I guess ;)

As for craft, this time around I let him try cutting, gluing, threading (punched holes around the art), and letter tracing (glued glitter on words).  We started with a Christmas star for the tree, stockings and poinsettas. We used the remaining painted rolls to make a turkey for a friend's Thanksgiving dinner. 

Wreath with holly, berries and gingerbread men
(Grandma made those cute origami mini-Santa Clauses)

Sticking ornaments on a car track painted Christmas card for his cousin

Home-made watercoloured ornaments :)

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer 

 

B in a snow globe

Collage art of peace, love and joy - the last 3 days in our advent calendar

Turning 2 has been a tipping point with some of the worst and best developments to date. B started shrieking for attention, tipping over his bowl/plate/cup when almost done (sooo annoying!), had bouts of skipped naps, early waking and general crankiness throughout the day. On the plus side, his interest in print (numbers and letters) keeps growing. He correctly spells out most words in big letters, is getting better at small letters, loves counting as well as spotting numerals. To my delight, soon after his birthday, he finally started singing. In tune! All the time! What was previously a monotone rap transformed into spontaneous singing and dancing to favourite songs and those he hears often (i.e. Jingle Bells). I even caught him singing nursery songs that I used to hum to him as a baby. Quite amazing what our kids retain at this age!

This Thursday, B will start half-day nursery, with mommy joining for a few hours/days before transitioning to a complete drop-off. I got him a personalised preschooler book, and also printed out photos of his new school to add to our scrap book to get him familiar with the concept.  It's encouraging that the school also focuses on being global citizens, i.e. donating for charity and recycling for art.  Here's hoping B's new journey with Odyssey will be even more rewarding and fun than it's been with mommy and me so far.

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Warp speed ahead

My month long (un)common cold resulted in an excessive white blood count which was double the average and one day in A&E when all my joints were inflammed!  I finally caved in to see doc #1 who cleared B and I of bronchitis, but gave me antibiotics and allergy/congestion meds that I reacted badly to.... this led me to doc #2 who found some lung tissue scarring from my x-ray but nothing critical after various tests. He then prescribed painkillers, even more antibiotics and asked me to stop the previous meds. After 1 week of pill-popping and clinic hopping, I'm feeling closer to normal again.

Besides that, October turned out to be a full-on month of milestones and learning through play with B.  Even though I'm with him almost all the time, his growth spurts still amaze me, not just physically, but also how well he picks up vocabulary and grammar.  After accomplishing a task on his own (like his jigsaw puzzles), he claps and says "Yay! Good job, B!" or if he's cheeky, "pandai boy" \o/ At breakfast one day, he placed his toy kangaroo on the table and said "Kangaroo watch B and mama eat pancake" and "daddy go 运动, then work” when dad went for his morning gym workout.  While in the car, he describes what he sees on the road and at times, will launch into a narrative, mainly on vehicles (of course), e.g. "Fire engine park in fire station, make loud noise nee-nah-nee-nah, lights go blink blink, firemen put out fire, many smoke, hot!"

We covered Geography and Astronomy which mommy and B thoroughly enjoyed.  We looked at continents, oceans, water and land formations, and then, our solar system. (I know this may seem odd, but he started asking questions about rivers, stars and satellites ... so what to do?!)

Map of the world on a paper plate where rubber band = equator between the hemispheres;

some of the library books (this time, the selection was quite good!);

 

an ocean/rockpool diorama, using a re-cycled box;

 penguins and icebergs in Antartica; 

land and water formations (which double up as bases for modelling clay/water);

And last but not least, sand art and puzzles on space: the final frontier!  This was also a perfect opportunity to learn comparatives and superlatives, i.e. planet Earth is smaller than Saturn, Mercury is the smallest, Jupiter is the biggest!   Now he applies these words in all sorts of situations :)

This month was also about confidence building and independence.  He started to enjoy scooting on the YBike glider which we have on loan from a friend.  He's walking his brand-new Kazam balance bike, an early birthday gift from 爷爷.  He even climbed out of his toddler cot bed once, alarming everyone! B grew more cautious climbing since that incident while I placed his large foam playmat under the bed until we switch him to a kid bed (or just a mattress). And on a bittersweet note, B got off the waitlist for N1 next January - it's a half day, drop off for the year they turn 3. Lots of implications there, some of which I'm still processing internally.

Wheeee!  

Plan C = change and continue

Up till a month ago, I was counting down the days to drop B off for half-day childcare, thus freeing my mornings for personal/business projects, pilates, etc.  The list for things to do during "ME" time is endless....  However after visiting said school again to refresh my memory and meet the (new) staff, it became unfortunately clear that this wasn't the best or right solution.  Thinking that having doubts and feeling uneasy was just a normal phase for any mom about to leave their kid for the 1st time, I borrowed a couple of books including Elizabeth Pantley's No-Cry Solution for Separation Anxiety.  After reading the first few chapters, speaking to moms in similar situations, soul searching and even reaching out to various schools to discuss options, I soon realised that my 18th month "freedom" plan was shortlived.

But why?  Simply put, too much has changed in the one year since we registered B there.  To stick with the original plan "B", as I've been calling my extended maternity leave, would be unfair to all fronts.  To B (given his personality and progress at this age), my personal situation (no longer working full time or pregnant with #2 for now), and the school itself which was going through a fair bit of change too.

So, what now?  Plan C is essentially same same but different. Who'd have thought we'd enjoy daily home school, parent-accompanied playdates and selected enrichment (Chinese, music and gym/right brain) for so long?  But we clearly see the benefit all this interaction and exposure has had on B -- and parents too.  One thing I'd tweak is to perhaps do more with less. That is, to better integrate what he learns in class with our home plan, outings and occasional playdates.  We'll still do some trial classes if anything interesting comes up but I can tell, all this will keep us quite busy through year end!

Kindermusik: Feathers ... and a busy B

Vocal play was the "call" of most of this term's Kindermusik lessons. Nice timing as B is also acquiring language - a gradual development process that includes listening, facial interaction, symbolic play, means-to-an-end behaviour, object permanence, imitation and vocal chord development.  Vocal play engages the vocal muscles intensely and is great preparation for expressive speech.  Exploration with sound also increases spatial reasoning, which is the ability to understand how things relate in space and time, to visualise the world accurately, to form mental images of physical objects, and to recognise variations of objects.

We were encouraged to keep up vocal play by exaggerating the shape of the mouth, using animated facial expressions and eye contact via mirrors and/or positioning yourself within his view.  In addition, we should sing often and invite him to accompany on instruments.  Kids actually start singing early by babbling, repeated words and fragments, and finally adding rhythmic features and pitch components.  Singing is enjoyable AND beneficial in both cognitive development (abstract conceptual thinking, verbal abilities, originality) and motor development, esp. coordination. Besides sounds, we did some symbolic play too with feathers, toy birds and paper "leaves" to teach that one thing can represent another, starting with familiar items.  This correlates to language acquisition in that a word represents an object. The first stage of symbolic play usually manifests from 6-8 months and becomes more sophisticated as they grow with imaginary and role play.  This time there were new syncopated swing and jazz song-and-dances!  "Sing a Song of Sixpence" (dig that groovy intermission!), "Gee, But It's Great to Meet a Friend" and "Once I Saw a Little Bird", "Hop To It" and "Duck Dance" which explored the tribal calls of the muskogean people and combines vocal play with singing in a fun way.  :D

Home library:

1. Feathers for lunch.  Lois Ehlert, Harcourt Brace and Jovanovich Co.  
2. Baby Steps. Claire Kopp, WH Freeman and CO.  
3. Singing Bee! A Collection of Favourite Children's Songs.  Compiled by Jane Hart with pictures by Anita Lobel, Lothrop, Lee & Shepard Books. 
4. Trees, a poem. Harry Behn, illustrated by James Endicott, Henry Holt & Co.
5. CD. Brahms at Bedtime:  A Sleepy Serenade.

On a side note, I renewed B for one last term at Chengzhu Playnest and Kindermusik Village. We've thoroughly enjoyed these and mama's morning "right brain class" (plus books, numbers, phonics, music and outdoor activities where possible). But when he turns 18 months, we'll need to tweak his schedule (drop some, *maybe* add a few like drama or Montessori?) as he'll attend morning toddler group at Pat's Baby Haven and continue his weekly mom/buddy afternoon playdates.

He also had his MMRV booster shot yesterday. Thankfully there's only 2 more jabs till the next series at 10 years old. Pheew!  He's now 11.3 kg, 81 cm at 15.5 months, understands lots of words, vocalises some, learning to self feed (patience and mess are a challenge for me!), naps ~2 hours once a day, sleeps from 830p to 730a with occasional waking (argh), and works on his gross and fine motor skills every chance he gets.  What a busy boy!