Releasing your child to (pre)school

B has been attending half day preschool at Odyssey for a week now. I drop him off by 845a and pick him up after lunch around 1245p, in time for his mid-day nap back home. He did us all proud, adapting better and faster than expected. There were less tears, increasing confidence and engagement in class, and even "thank yous" and "byes" to his teachers, friends and favourite things in school (i.e. gardens, school bus) by end of the week.

 

 In fact, he coped better than I did after 2+ years of being together (almost) 24/7. In their first week newsletter update, his teachers were clearly pleased with his progress - and probably relieved too!

Once we decided on "where", I spoke to a few friends, read Elizabeth Pantley's The No-Cry Separation Anxiety Solution and Stormie Omartian's The Power of a Praying Parent to prepare for "how" and "what if". Here's stuff I didn't know or fully appreciate until B started:

1) Visit with your child as often as possible before class starts, taking photos to recall. I made memories by adding little pages for his journal which worked better than any "going to preschool" kid book because they were real, some with pictures of him in them! When day 1 came along, B was familiar with the names and images of his school, class and teachers. Ideally, we'd have loved to accompany him to playgroups at school or with his classmates beforehand, but we didn't have this option.

2) If possible, ask to be the only new child in the class, say for a 2 week period, and avoid starting after a long holiday as many "experienced" kids still get separation anxiety on the first day back. This ensures sufficient attention and no peer crying effect which stresses out everyone around. A fellow mom friend shared how 5 kids in her child's class (different school) cried for almost 3 hours until they vomited. Teachers were quite overwhelmed and parents clearly distressed!

3) Crying at drop off is normal. Crying at pick up is also normal. BUT it doesn't mean your child has been crying all day! The tears usually stop once teachers are given a chance to take over, distract and calm down your child. By mid-week, B cried for less than a minute at drop off and pick up and after that, he was all smiles, no tears. The key here is to TRUST, reflect a positive mood and (the toughest part) LEAVE. I hung B's water bottle around his neck which also ensured he was hydrated, and always had a towel ready, i.e. his comfort object since he was an infant. I had my doubts too at the beginning as I wandered around waiting for the call or tears which never came thankfully, all the while trying to spy in while not letting them see me. Eventually, I told myself to let go. Let others get to know and take care of him. Grant them your trust and allow them to keep earning yours and his. Also, enjoy the well-deserved morning off, mama!

4) It can feel like your child's regressing. B was koala bear clingy over the weekend (we started on a Thursday) and had disrupted naps because he'd catnap in the car on the way back and not nap enough once home, or would wake up crying for me and wouldn't go back to sleep without me holding him. Over the weekend, I reflected and determined to not be hasty - all of this eventually resolved or would resolve. And B would also continue to grow in character, knowledge and imagination. I just need to remember to project love for him, encourage interest in school and model respect for his teachers. Believe he will thrive!

5) Release your child into God's hands. To quote Omartian: "We can't be everywhere. We can't see everything. We can't know everything. But God can. Acknowledge our Father is in control of our children's lives and ours, and we will have greater peace." Amen!

Of course, I miss B everytime he's in school and am trying to maximise our remaining time together with bonding and NOT mere enrichment - begone you tiger mom urges! Meanwhile, I'm enjoying this extra time for devotionals, pilates, The Whiz Times, books, brekkie/brunch catch-ups until my schedule changes again :)

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Tidings of comfort and joy

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! This advent season, I wanted to impress on B the true meaning of Jesus' birth and how it is not just about gifting but also the act of giving, and God's ultimate gift of life. Although it was hard to break free from all the commercialism, we found a few simple ways to reflect this while still doing our fair share of Christmas mall hopping :)

We made an advent calendar from B's artwork with clear plastic pockets to mark the 24 days, which was December 1 to 24 this year. I liked how this simple template could be re-used many times for things like learning numbers, letters, words, days and months, etc. Each day, we prayed for specific family, friends, those in need, our country and world, ending with the fruits of the spirit -- which B coincidentally learned in Sunbeam (Sunday School) year. On Christmas morning, we visited a single mother of 5 kids as part of our church's community blessing project before joining our cell group for food and carols. I look forward to more fun, faith-based activities as he grows up. For 2014, we could try this weekly series based on proverbs, more on the fruits or even try working through this catechism as our church's awesome new Devotional Journal weekly family section doesn't quite work for young tots.

Of course, we also covered the usual Christmas craft and books. Between work, colds, family visits, playdates, parties and our year end holiday to Hong Kong, we couldn't complete a nativity project or join many church events. After reading some books and our toddler bible, B recalls the nativity story by acting out a pregnant mama (Mary), old hunched men with presents (three wise men) and a wailing baby (Jesus).... It's a start I guess ;)

As for craft, this time around I let him try cutting, gluing, threading (punched holes around the art), and letter tracing (glued glitter on words).  We started with a Christmas star for the tree, stockings and poinsettas. We used the remaining painted rolls to make a turkey for a friend's Thanksgiving dinner. 

Wreath with holly, berries and gingerbread men
(Grandma made those cute origami mini-Santa Clauses)

Sticking ornaments on a car track painted Christmas card for his cousin

Home-made watercoloured ornaments :)

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer 

 

B in a snow globe

Collage art of peace, love and joy - the last 3 days in our advent calendar

Turning 2 has been a tipping point with some of the worst and best developments to date. B started shrieking for attention, tipping over his bowl/plate/cup when almost done (sooo annoying!), had bouts of skipped naps, early waking and general crankiness throughout the day. On the plus side, his interest in print (numbers and letters) keeps growing. He correctly spells out most words in big letters, is getting better at small letters, loves counting as well as spotting numerals. To my delight, soon after his birthday, he finally started singing. In tune! All the time! What was previously a monotone rap transformed into spontaneous singing and dancing to favourite songs and those he hears often (i.e. Jingle Bells). I even caught him singing nursery songs that I used to hum to him as a baby. Quite amazing what our kids retain at this age!

This Thursday, B will start half-day nursery, with mommy joining for a few hours/days before transitioning to a complete drop-off. I got him a personalised preschooler book, and also printed out photos of his new school to add to our scrap book to get him familiar with the concept.  It's encouraging that the school also focuses on being global citizens, i.e. donating for charity and recycling for art.  Here's hoping B's new journey with Odyssey will be even more rewarding and fun than it's been with mommy and me so far.

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To add a library to a house is to give that house a soul

Lately, B spontaneously calls out letters he recognises and sometimes sings the A-B-C Song while he pretends to "read" the print. Looks like he's taking the next step to read WORDS on his own initiative, and not just recite from memory, vocalise or narrate what he sees. What a nice milestone for our brand new 2 year old :) B's also developed a list of places to ask for when we're getting ready to go out. To my secret bookworm delight, we hear "go library and read book" almost every other day! Other regulars include "Bus stop and MRT?", "play outside, playground, park", "Botanic Gardens" (where he likes feeding the fish), "ama 公公", "爷爷 奶奶" and his buddies' "house", "buy food at Fairprice" (we grocery shop together a lot), "ride toy car/train at shopping mall", "music" and "Chinese class" (i.e. Kindermusik, Jiggle Wigs, Chengzhu). It's encouraging to see all the time and effort in immersing him in a print and word-rich environment paying off - from getting his first library card at 7 weeks (!), daily newspaper browsing and storytimes, thematic flashcards if he wants to, and just when we relax, chat and read quietly together.

We couldn't have done it without the network of public libraries in Singapore, notably the Bishan, Toa Payoh and Central NLB branches. The breadth and depth of parenting, baby and preschool books to toddler/family friendly activities is amazing AND free (or reasonable enough if you're a foreigner). B's been exposed to a wider range of authors, formats, topics - in both English and Chinese - than I ever was at his age. The books expand his vocabulary and imagination, plus save us money and reduce clutter with more informed buying (i.e. the read-everyday or hard-to-find ones) mainly online via The Book Depository, Fishpond or at the local Popular bookstore. 

Last, a shout out to Fun With Tots, an ongoing series of six library workshops on print motivation, print awareness, phonological awareness, letter knowledge, narrative skills and vocabulary.  I didn't know what to expect when I signed up with B, but was pleasantly surprised by the dedication of each of the librarians who prepared a handout of notes/resources and facilitated their topics with songs, books, parent/caregiver tips to keep everyone from adults to the little tots engaged. Even though it was close to bedtime (8p), B enjoyed each session and would say "go library at night"!  The only disappointment was that so few folks attended. It's ironic that parents prefer to spend money (sometimes up to ~$50-$100 per session) on enrichment classes based on early childhood experts, but can't make time to visit the library or attend a hands-on workshop together (which BTW, costs $2 per 30 min session). Even if our kids attend daycare or preschool, or we work full time, we should still actively participate in fostering a love of reading, a thirst for knowledge and the capacity to imagine in our kids. Seeing is doing and believing. My dad was dubious when I wanted to borrow books on space for B ... who liked it so much that he could eventually name or describe all the planets in the solar system!

SO.... Head on over to your neighbourhood library and browse/borrow some books for the holidays.  You can also find out what's going on at Bounce, the NLB channel dedicated to kids 0 to 12.  BTW, if like B, your kid is just learning his letters and enjoys music, take a look at all these alphabet songs and see what works best!

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. 

The more you learn, the more places you'll go." 
- Dr. Seuss, "I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!"

Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!

This week, B turned 2 while mommy took a step closer to 40 ;)  We had a terrific two party at Happy Willow - which daddy flew back from overseas to attend before flying back out again to work!  As we opened up the birthday gifts from friends and family, I reflected on the precious two years B and I have had together.  Despite the ups-and-downs with tantrums, self-feeding, potty training, language and math, the best gift we shared was simply the ability and freedom to IMAGINE together.

To paraphrase Albert Einstein: "Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited while imagination embraces the entire world."  So I controlled my tiger mom urges, withdrew him from early childcare, limited his exposure to commercial toys and enrichment programs (after a few eye-opening trials) - no matter how kid-friendly, educational and/or successful these claimed to be.  Instead, we focused on simple early years ABCs i.e. Art, Books, Craft with as much music, drama, library and outdoor time as possible. B learnt to observe and appreciate our environment - nature, everyday things at home and about, picking up a wider vocabulary and interests along the way, including an obsession with transportation, animals and space; and a love for music and rhythm - though he can't sing on pitch, he recites plenty of songs in a quirky monotone ;)  

Sure, all of this involved additional time and effort and we never did as much as I'd like, but it was worth it!  Moving forward, we intentionally chose a school that builds on this approach too when he starts N1 next year and plan to maximise the remaining time on learning through play.  Let's not "educate our kids out of their creative capacity" as was mentioned in this thought-provoking TED video on How Schools Kill Creativity:

On a lighter note, we recently dabbled in some eco-friendly cardboard craft. We added a ball ramp (works best with ping pong balls) behind the previous road ramp. 

And built a multi-purpose, open-ended play house which his friends helped to paint:

我爱我的动物

July saw a big leap forward in B's cognitive, and in particular, speech development. Words started to "click" and it was great to be there with him along the way.

Theme: Animals!  It started with us doing an extended craft activity around Margaret Wise Brown's "Big Red Barn" when we were stuck indoors during the worst of the haze.  The rest of the month was spent on tonnes of books, songs, art and craft, puzzles and outings. We even managed to make this bilingual as B's new Chinese term was all around the 农场 (Farm) 

ABC or Art, Books and Craft: Maybe it was a matter of time but I felt like we found a key to unlock his brain by engaging in more kinesthetic learning this month. We expanded upon a few fave books with a big red barn diorama, a zoo numbers and colouring activity based on Eric Carle's "123 To The Zoo," and built our own family tree after reading "Who's Like Me."  Some highlights below:

Music and Movement: I finally brought all 6 kids CDs into the car to play on repeat whenever it's just B and me.  From the classic Old MacDonald (he loves the E-I-E-I-O!) and Incy Wincy Spider actions to his Chinese Playclub's ditties like "我爱我的" and "母鸭带小鸭" as well as Kindermusik's Morning Song (with different greetings for animals/people).  It was nice to see him not only sing to the words and rhythm but overcome his shyness to move and dance along.

Outings: No surprise, we went back to the zoo to check out the Breakfast With Orang Utans with friends (overpriced, not worth it!) and the new Frozen Tundra polar bear exhibit (cool!). Next time, we'll visit in the afternoon as B is up longer and can catch more live shows.  We also went to the Maritime Experiential Museum and Aquarium (nice, esp. the spider crabs, jellyfish and dolphins). Here's other animal adventure places we hoped to/will visit as there wasn't enough time to see them all! 

Personal:
- Hearing B say "I love you" (sounds more like "I low you") melts my heart :)
- I know I've said it earlier, but the Big Red Barn opened up a world of language, esp. speech for him.  He comes up with 3-word descriptors like "big purple ball" (i.e. my yogilates ball) and "dark blue sky" (the view from his window when he wakes). Loves to make animal and vehicle sounds, say opposites thanks to Dr Seuss (big/small, in/out, up/down, high/low), colours (primary+secondary+some tertiary), numbers (1-10) and family names. His thirst for books seemed to have grown exponentially too. He demands to read "more, more books" every time and delights in finishing up familiar sentences or words. Of course, he repeats interesting new words in English, Malay, Chinese and especially, my in-car swearing :0
- Self feeds when hungry and when he likes his food.  Otherwise, he'll eat with distractions and/or help.  Developed a temporary bad habit of throwing down his spoon/fork/food when done or cranky, but that's stopped now since I told him off with frequent reminders to put it down on the table (practicing les gros yeux!)
- Naps are still too short but nights are great so we're rolling with it. I get my downtime or work done at night, spend quality time with him in the mornings, try to take him out each day with a special/ family outing once a week
- Potty training still ongoing, slow and easy.  Undies at home, diapers when out
- All in, it's been a pretty awesome though tiring month.  Gratifying to see the effort pay off, esp. when I wonder what's become of me and where I'm headed this year....

Growing up sage

Pamela Druckerman's Bringing Up Bébé was a rather different read from the usual parenting books so far.  I was quite surprised that French parenting (in the early years at least) resonated with my own East meets West blend so far.  I don't agree with it all, esp. the non-attachment-friendly actions and a rather socialist approach to do what others do with minimal individual affirmation.  

YET I do appreciate some elements, mainly:

• Help him grow up sage (wise and calm) as well as éveillé (awakened, alert, stimulated). A child in control of himself, absorbed in activities with doucement (gently, carefully), mindful of himself with no n'importe quoi acts without regard or consideration for others 
• Have a cadre (framework) where firm limits are set within which tremendous freedom is given
• Focus on the right éducation (upbringing) rather than discipline
• Teach him to attend (wait... stop!) by self entertainment/distraction and not be an enfant roi  who is constantly at the center of attention. Building patience and delayed gratification will help with the caprices during the tantrum-throwing frustrations
• Reinforce FOUR magic words: "Hello, "Bye," "Please" and "Thank You" 
• Small acts of foolishness (bêtise) call for moderate responses but major acts require a firm non, les gros yeux (that LOOK of admonishment) and punishment with serious consequences
• Equilibre (balance) includes not letting being a parent overwhelm your life. Don't become a daily maman-taxi (tough one, that) 
• Goûter (afternoon snack) is the ONLY snack of the day beyond the three square meals, ideally together with family
• Allow autonomie, a blend of independence and self-reliance early on, including separation from parents such as école maternelle (free public pre-school) from the year the child turns 3 and colonie de vacances (kids' summer camps) from four years on
• Practice complicité, the mutual understanding that parents and caregivers try to develop with children from birth.  Small babies are perceived as rational beings, with whom adults can have reciprocal, respectful relationships. Note: several baby experts would disagree...
• ... which leads to French "sleep teaching" aka the PAUSE, typically by 4 months. My take on this is not that every newborn parent must sleep train by letting their baby cry.  Rather, consider waiting a little before responding to let baby learn to sleep on his own in between cycles, and then enter to determine if it truly is hunger, a dirty diaper, anxiety, et al.  This gradual "wait" approach worked for us even though we never liked or resorted to full cry-it-out

Caveat: The lowest grade I got in college was in French, so pardon any errors

I did what I knew, and when I knew better, I did better

June was an exercise in child-led learning.   Forget about class or mommy's "lesson plans," our theme was on B's all time favourite things...

Theme:
(1) Things that go:  It started out with us reading Brian Biggs' excellently illustrated vehicle series, esp.  Everything Goes: In The Air for days up till (and after) B's first flight to Phuket.  Shortly after, his Chengzhu holiday program took the Playclub tots on the Duck Tour bus AND boat.  Then we ended up flying again (aka the unplanned haze-cation) to Penang. For a boy already crazy about wheels and diggers, it only seemed natural that this ended up as our special monthly theme

(2) Shapes: Learning shapes is fun and easier as B recognises his rainbow colours (he calls indigo "dark bool" ;) Besides the hand-me-down shape sorters, blocks and a timely Gymnademics home package set, we reinforced shapes through bean bag games, geometric foam pictures and playdough

Routine:
We used lots of puzzles this month given B's growing interest (and affinity) for this. Besides the wooden peg puzzles, we took out slightly harder board and magnetised ones.  It takes him some time to get the alignment right even if he knows where it should go. But he takes them out from the boxes himself to work at it almost every day.  For a boy that can't stay at a task too long, this is quite a feat! We also used more representative learning to support what B would see in real life, i.e. block building a "duck bus/boat", drawing the jet pilots and helicopters flying by for National Day rehearsal, browsing through books, transportation art and flashcards with photos and/or illustrated print, role playing with toys and sound effects, etc. We even tried threading with his Good Night construction site set. Speaking of which, B can thread in and occasionally flips it over to thread out but doesn't quite know? have patience? to keep threading the next sequence.

Art and Craft:  So many this month given the special occasions, but no time to complete a big special project (that one's already WIP for next month). Our top 2 faves:

(1) Fathers' Day card - B made 3 this year, 1 for dad, 1 for each grandpa

(2) Garden montage of ziplocked paint, bubble wrap prints and cut-out shapes

Outings:  June was children's season and school holidays.  So... You guessed it!  We went back to the Singapore Art Museum (awesome Enchanted Garden kids exhibit) and Gardens By The Bay (Flight of Fancy's hot air balloons). We also visited the Philatelic Museum to see geek!mom's Star Wars exhibit.  With the Singapore Duck Tour, Phuket and Penang trips, B is slowly touring his way through Southeast Asia ;)

Personal:

- Mealtimes are back to normal, even better in fact since our Penang trip.  B feeds himself, has a robust appetite, is keen to try new things, and most importantly, happily eats fruits and veggies again! At his 18.5 month check in/jab, B weighed 12.5 kg.  He couldn't stand still to measure the height, but based on his ex-pants shorts and pajamas, he's definitely over 86 cm!

- Sleeps well overnight (~11 hours straight) but his naps have gotten shorter (~1 hour average) even on days when he's so tired and nodding off by 1130a!  He tends to wake up crying from his nap yet will only sleep longer if we rock and hold him.  Another regression? Separation anxiety again?  Just roll with it?
- Resumed potty training which I started / stopped earlier this year.  This time, we are going the distance  i.e. no diapers while at home and playdates.  Also bought another, lighter single piece "portette"

- At times, he shows a little stubborn and willful streak so I've been more firm with discipline, insisting he continues with the basic home "routine" (incl. helping out, cleaning up), and not giving in to his temper tantrums. So far, nothing unmanageable (yet! yet!)

- Steady progress language and cognition wise. He's started to fill in missing words from familiar stories and songs, repeat new words that he's able (willing?) to vocalise and put 2 simple words together like "eat/no more", "back door."  Oh, and he's asking "WHY?" ;) It helps that I'm reading more specific books with big fonts, few words like the Dr Seuss and Margaret Wise Brown classics, in addition to our usual dialogic, fun but variable stories. Besides English, he seems to find Malay/Bahasa easier to pick up but that could be b/c I've been quite negligent with Chinese since our holiday break! Of course, if I were honest, for a verbal mom like me who talks, sings and reads to him constantly, I do wish at times that he could say more earlier! But he's developing at his own pace and all is well

- I made his first photobook to help make reading (pages, prints, photos) more personal and fun for him. Also as an alternative to flicking through photos and videos on my smartphone.  He seems to enjoy flipping through it and it grounds him esp. when we are away from home.  Small steps worth continuing and building on

- We STILL haven't committed to 2014 nursery for B next year .... Talk about kiasu!  Yet even with my sporadic homeschooling efforts (longer task/wishlist than actual), I still feel we're doing ok and giving B a better experience at this age

Secrets of the toddler whisperer

Tracy Hogg's book was full of gentle yet sound parenting advice. I liked her approach, fun acronyms and practical examples on how to manage those tricky toddler years. She's not an advocate of spanking - I'm not sure where I stand on this yet as it's quite a change for those who were raised with Asian parents/homes.

Everyday H.E.L.P with tots:
Hold Back.  For the purposes of observation, which is not the same as being detached, rejecting or ignoring your toddler
Encourage to Explore.  Ensure there are many opportunities a day for exploration, including let him play quietly with another child, try to solve puzzles or stack blocks on his own.  Don't constantly direct, monitor and instruct.
Live with Limits. Too much of anything is usually not good. Don't give too many choices, allow too much stimulation or participation in non-age appropriate activities.  Don't wait too long before reining in tantrums, aggressiveness or other high emotions.  Curtail activities that aren't good in big doses e.g. sweets, TV.
Praise Appropriately. Praise to reinforce specific acts of cooperation, kindness or behaviour

Routines and Rituals (R&R) continue to be important, perhaps even more so at this age. It provides security, cuts down on struggles, helps tots deal with separation, supports all kinds of learning - physical, emotional control, social behaviour, avoids problems by helping parents set clear consistent boundaries, allows everyone to slow down and connect.  Tailor R&R to your family -- starting with waking, eating, bathing, exits and entrances, clean up, nap and bedtimes.  Everytime you repeat and reinforce an act, you are doing R&R -- for better or worse!

H.E.L.P also applies to potty training which should begin between 18 mos - 2 years.
Hold back until you see signs he's ready. E.g. Some stop dead in their tracks, stand still, focus and suddenly move on.
Encourage him to connect bodily function with words and actions. Narrate what's going on when you change the diaper, invest in a freestanding potty and his fave toy "go to the bathroom"
Limit his time on the potty. No more than 2-3 minutes
Praise widely when something is deposited!

4Ps aren't limited to Marketing either ;)  They're also critical to potty training success:
Potty - one that fits his size and pants/panties once they go on the potty at least 3x/ day
Patience - never rush the process or look disappointed when he doesn't pee or poop or causes an accident. All kids progress at their own speed
Practice - as much as he can
Presence - sit with him and cheer him own

The rate of language development is determined by exposure to language and interaction with talkers (constant conversation, eye contact), gender (girls tend to talk earlier), other developmental gains taking precedence (esp. walking, manual/social growth, etc.), birth order (younger tends to talk later) and genetic disposition. Also setbacks may occur if there's a sudden change in the home (new baby, mom goes back to work, relocation, etc.). A different sort of TLC also applies during these critical years: Talk, Listen, Clarify. Pay attention to non-verbal and verbal signals. Look him in the eye when you talk/listen. Talk in short, simple sentences. Ask simple, direct questions to allow him to express himself.  Play word games to foster interaction, practice and learning. Exercise restrain and patience.

Common speech milestones and red flags by age below.
8-12 mos: Can speak and associate mama and dada.  Respond to 1-step commands ("Please give the car to mama").  Watch if: child doesn't respond to her name, babble (long/short groups of sounds), doesn't look when people talk to her, doesn't point or makes sounds to get what he wants

12-18 mos: Says first words: simple nouns ("dog," "baby"), names of special people, action words/phrases ("up," "go"). May follow 1 or 2-step commands ("Go into your room and get the towel"). Watch if: child doesn't say a word or two, even unclearly

18-24 mos: Says up to 10 different words, understands 30 or more. Speaks lots of gibberish :) Watch if: Child can't say more than a few words clearly, follow simple requests ("come here") or respond to simple questions with a "yes" or "no"

2-3 years: Has a word for everything! Combines words into sentences to express thoughts and feelings. Extensive vocab even though grammar isn't perfect. Can converse with adult. Watch if: Child uses fewer than 50 words and has no word combinations. Can't understand opposities/different meanings ("up/down") or follow 2-step commands. Doesn't notice or overacts to environmental sounds, e.g. horn

Last but not least, it's important to teach your tot self control. I thought Hogg's approach here was a little wishful thinking so one possible application would be to first try Karp's prehistoric parenting where parents speak (not act) like the little Neanderthal to get their attention and show empathy, and THEN try Hogg's suggestion of conscious discipline and offering choices through statements and questions. Rather than resort to demands/threats which (admit it!) come immediately to our minds, do/say if he's:
- Overstimulated and/or running inappropriately/too much.  Stop/restrain him, pick him up and remove from the activity if needed. "I see.... Let's take a walk outside. You can't keep running here. We'll leave once you've put your socks/shoes on."
- Throwing a tantrum in public for something he wants but can't/shouldn't have. Ignore it. "Wow, that's impressive. But you still can't have it.  Do you want to come over here by yourself or shall I get you?"
If that doesn't work, remove him. "You can't behave like this here."
- Refuses to cooperate while dressing or diaper changing. Stop, wait a while/calm him down, try again. "When you're ready, we'll dress up. Shall we change your diaper now or after you finish this snack?"
- Shouts, lower your own voice. "Let's use our quiet voice"
- Whines, look him in the eye and imitate a best (non-whiny) noise. "I can't hear you unless you use your best voice"
- Kicks/hits when you pick him up, put him down immediately.  "Do not hit/kick. It hurts."
- Grabs another toy from a kid. Stand up, go near and encourage him to give it back. "If you can't let go of M's toy, I can help you... M was playing with that. You should give it back to him. Thank you -- what good cooperation. Now would you like to hold/play with this?"
- Throws food.  Take him down from the chair.  "We don't throw food at the table." If he doesn't want to finish/wants to go out.  "When you've finished eating, then we can go to the playground."
- Pulls another child's hair/hits another child. Put your hand on his hand, stroke gently. Restrain him or take him outside if agitated.  "Be gentle. No pulling, no hitting. That hurts!" Worse case: Go home.