Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true

It's almost the end of September. While I look forward to celebrate with dear friends who will give birth over the next few months, I can't help thinking that baby #2's due date would have been around now.  What a frustrating, "deferred" year this has been!  I'd put off the job search when I initially found out I was pregnant at the turn of the year.  After the miscarriage, we postponed the start of B's preschool (i.e. nursery drop-off) and any serious job switch till next year, so that we could maximise our time with B as well as our efforts to conceive again, esp. given hubby's frequent business travel. Sadly, so far, no luck with #2 (or rather, #2b) and I worry that my career is stagnating the longer I stop working. It's days like these that I need to pause and reflect that God has given me such a blessed family, with rich life experiences, and all that we hope for will come to pass in His time, in His way.

All that I am, all that I have 
I lay them down before you, oh Lord 
All my regrets, all my acclaims 
The joy and the pain, I'm making them yours 

Lord, I offer my life to you 
Everything I've been through 
Use it for your glory 
Lord I offer my days to you 
Lifting my praise to you 
As a pleasing sacrifice 
Lord I offer you my life

Things in the past, things yet unseen 
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true 
All of my heart, all of my praise 
My heart and my hands are lifted to you

What can we give 
That you have not given? 
And what do we have 
That is not already yours? 
All we possess 
Are these lives we're living 
That's what we give to you, Lord 

No time for flashcards?

This month, we covered TIME.  Thankfully, I managed to save time (hah!) searching for, making and adapting material for B as the theme coincided with the Gymnademics weekly home material.  It allowed us to reinforce numbers as B's been sporadically saying 0 to 20 (in English) and 1-10 (in Chinese). We also dived into the concept of day and night, seasons and weather patterns as B loves pointing to the moon, sun, stars, rain, clouds, etc. ;)

Books. There are soooo many good books about time, numbers and weather. Reading books is even more fun now that he repeats most words and memorises familiar phrases that he likes. Here's what worked well for us among the titles we could find in the library and had at home.

 

BTW, we really enjoyed "Only My Mom and Me" by Alyssa Satin Capucili which covers the days/seasons that a mom and child spend together.  But I had to return it to the library and haven't bought it online yet :(  Also, there's many book-based activities from Margaret Wise Brown's "Goodnight Moon," a classic bedtime fave that shows how time passes before bed. Maybe we'll try that in Sept....

Craft. We made a weather/week/time wheel to complement the theme.  B loves spinning it while saying the words and numbers. He's also slowly learning how to manipulate the wooden clothespegs. 

Music and Movement. When we reviewed the days and months, B would get stuck on Wednesday and had a tough time associating the months with "concrete" things.  These music videos helped! (Note: There are many out there online, these were the ones we liked more)  

  

Chinese?! One day, B re-discovered our stash of bilingual flashcards, gleefully exclaimed "WOW!" and brought them over to read together.  Whenever there's time at home, he would open box after box to flip through. I try not to repeat the cards and end leaving him wanting more.  He tends to say the English word when he sees/hears me read out Chinese characters, but he does vocalise some Chinese, esp. those he hears frequently from songs, conversations and his first set of Chinese storybooks.  

Art:  Since this was mommy's first year as a Singaporean, we hosted a casual National Day BBQ, jet flypast and fireworks watching at our place. B excitedly says "boom boom fire" and "zoom zoom airplane" when he sees his artist impression proudly displayed on the art wall :)

Outings and Special Projects: This month, B visited Megabugs Return! and the Science Center (rather underwhelming, seriously in need of upgrading), the Art Garden @ SAM (again!) and the Istana Open House for Hari Raya and National Day. We also returned to the Esplanade for Hello Ling, the second in the PLAYtime! series, which dramatised the effects of light or in B's words "sunlight, starlight, moonlight ... and rainbows!" To cap it all, B made his first (?) science discovery, i.e. a simplified "taugeh" project to grow green bean plants over time (i.e. the 7 days in a week) with the help of water, air and sunlight.

Personal:

- When asked "What's your name?"  He'll say it all in one run-on word "bwxy!"
- Mr Manners. B calls "Hi, Thank You, Please, Good Morning, Bye, Day, Night (and Sleep Tight)" if prompted though once in while we'll get a spontaneous "Morning/Bye uncle/aunty!" while in the lift, charming our neighbours (and some strangers). The family tree will come in handy for those Chinese titles and names!

- Potty training steps.  B regularly voices when he needs to pee and poop, does it in the toilet more often and has fewer accidents. Even though we've not yet gone all-in (i.e. he wears diapers/trainers when sleeping and when outside for extended periods), this has been so encouraging for us all. Yes!

- Hello, tantrums. Our gentle, observant 21 month old B has finally succumbed to his undeveloped cortex :) Thankfully the tantrums are not frequent and rather predictable (i.e. he'll say "No like! No want!" or throw a fuss when he's upset, tired at end of day or had a poor nap, or wants to be independent).  I guess a happy, stimulating and secure environment with a balance of love and discipline is no longer enough at this age! B needs his autonomy, and we should “never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.”  Maria Montessori said this best

- Gimme freedom! That's perhaps why B likes music and movement so much.  I flip through the newspaper with him in the mornings, let him choose how many and which books to read, have regular messy, art and music playdates.  As his vocabulary expands, he's forming more and more 2-3 word phrases to better express himself and is gradually overcoming his shyness to say words in Chinese and Malay too 

"Today is Monday" everyday according to B, and it's a delightful day!

我爱我的动物

July saw a big leap forward in B's cognitive, and in particular, speech development. Words started to "click" and it was great to be there with him along the way.

Theme: Animals!  It started with us doing an extended craft activity around Margaret Wise Brown's "Big Red Barn" when we were stuck indoors during the worst of the haze.  The rest of the month was spent on tonnes of books, songs, art and craft, puzzles and outings. We even managed to make this bilingual as B's new Chinese term was all around the 农场 (Farm) 

ABC or Art, Books and Craft: Maybe it was a matter of time but I felt like we found a key to unlock his brain by engaging in more kinesthetic learning this month. We expanded upon a few fave books with a big red barn diorama, a zoo numbers and colouring activity based on Eric Carle's "123 To The Zoo," and built our own family tree after reading "Who's Like Me."  Some highlights below:

Music and Movement: I finally brought all 6 kids CDs into the car to play on repeat whenever it's just B and me.  From the classic Old MacDonald (he loves the E-I-E-I-O!) and Incy Wincy Spider actions to his Chinese Playclub's ditties like "我爱我的" and "母鸭带小鸭" as well as Kindermusik's Morning Song (with different greetings for animals/people).  It was nice to see him not only sing to the words and rhythm but overcome his shyness to move and dance along.

Outings: No surprise, we went back to the zoo to check out the Breakfast With Orang Utans with friends (overpriced, not worth it!) and the new Frozen Tundra polar bear exhibit (cool!). Next time, we'll visit in the afternoon as B is up longer and can catch more live shows.  We also went to the Maritime Experiential Museum and Aquarium (nice, esp. the spider crabs, jellyfish and dolphins). Here's other animal adventure places we hoped to/will visit as there wasn't enough time to see them all! 

Personal:
- Hearing B say "I love you" (sounds more like "I low you") melts my heart :)
- I know I've said it earlier, but the Big Red Barn opened up a world of language, esp. speech for him.  He comes up with 3-word descriptors like "big purple ball" (i.e. my yogilates ball) and "dark blue sky" (the view from his window when he wakes). Loves to make animal and vehicle sounds, say opposites thanks to Dr Seuss (big/small, in/out, up/down, high/low), colours (primary+secondary+some tertiary), numbers (1-10) and family names. His thirst for books seemed to have grown exponentially too. He demands to read "more, more books" every time and delights in finishing up familiar sentences or words. Of course, he repeats interesting new words in English, Malay, Chinese and especially, my in-car swearing :0
- Self feeds when hungry and when he likes his food.  Otherwise, he'll eat with distractions and/or help.  Developed a temporary bad habit of throwing down his spoon/fork/food when done or cranky, but that's stopped now since I told him off with frequent reminders to put it down on the table (practicing les gros yeux!)
- Naps are still too short but nights are great so we're rolling with it. I get my downtime or work done at night, spend quality time with him in the mornings, try to take him out each day with a special/ family outing once a week
- Potty training still ongoing, slow and easy.  Undies at home, diapers when out
- All in, it's been a pretty awesome though tiring month.  Gratifying to see the effort pay off, esp. when I wonder what's become of me and where I'm headed this year....

Growing up sage

Pamela Druckerman's Bringing Up Bébé was a rather different read from the usual parenting books so far.  I was quite surprised that French parenting (in the early years at least) resonated with my own East meets West blend so far.  I don't agree with it all, esp. the non-attachment-friendly actions and a rather socialist approach to do what others do with minimal individual affirmation.  

YET I do appreciate some elements, mainly:

• Help him grow up sage (wise and calm) as well as éveillé (awakened, alert, stimulated). A child in control of himself, absorbed in activities with doucement (gently, carefully), mindful of himself with no n'importe quoi acts without regard or consideration for others 
• Have a cadre (framework) where firm limits are set within which tremendous freedom is given
• Focus on the right éducation (upbringing) rather than discipline
• Teach him to attend (wait... stop!) by self entertainment/distraction and not be an enfant roi  who is constantly at the center of attention. Building patience and delayed gratification will help with the caprices during the tantrum-throwing frustrations
• Reinforce FOUR magic words: "Hello, "Bye," "Please" and "Thank You" 
• Small acts of foolishness (bêtise) call for moderate responses but major acts require a firm non, les gros yeux (that LOOK of admonishment) and punishment with serious consequences
• Equilibre (balance) includes not letting being a parent overwhelm your life. Don't become a daily maman-taxi (tough one, that) 
• Goûter (afternoon snack) is the ONLY snack of the day beyond the three square meals, ideally together with family
• Allow autonomie, a blend of independence and self-reliance early on, including separation from parents such as école maternelle (free public pre-school) from the year the child turns 3 and colonie de vacances (kids' summer camps) from four years on
• Practice complicité, the mutual understanding that parents and caregivers try to develop with children from birth.  Small babies are perceived as rational beings, with whom adults can have reciprocal, respectful relationships. Note: several baby experts would disagree...
• ... which leads to French "sleep teaching" aka the PAUSE, typically by 4 months. My take on this is not that every newborn parent must sleep train by letting their baby cry.  Rather, consider waiting a little before responding to let baby learn to sleep on his own in between cycles, and then enter to determine if it truly is hunger, a dirty diaper, anxiety, et al.  This gradual "wait" approach worked for us even though we never liked or resorted to full cry-it-out

Caveat: The lowest grade I got in college was in French, so pardon any errors