我爱我的动物

July saw a big leap forward in B's cognitive, and in particular, speech development. Words started to "click" and it was great to be there with him along the way.

Theme: Animals!  It started with us doing an extended craft activity around Margaret Wise Brown's "Big Red Barn" when we were stuck indoors during the worst of the haze.  The rest of the month was spent on tonnes of books, songs, art and craft, puzzles and outings. We even managed to make this bilingual as B's new Chinese term was all around the 农场 (Farm) 

ABC or Art, Books and Craft: Maybe it was a matter of time but I felt like we found a key to unlock his brain by engaging in more kinesthetic learning this month. We expanded upon a few fave books with a big red barn diorama, a zoo numbers and colouring activity based on Eric Carle's "123 To The Zoo," and built our own family tree after reading "Who's Like Me."  Some highlights below:

Music and Movement: I finally brought all 6 kids CDs into the car to play on repeat whenever it's just B and me.  From the classic Old MacDonald (he loves the E-I-E-I-O!) and Incy Wincy Spider actions to his Chinese Playclub's ditties like "我爱我的" and "母鸭带小鸭" as well as Kindermusik's Morning Song (with different greetings for animals/people).  It was nice to see him not only sing to the words and rhythm but overcome his shyness to move and dance along.

Outings: No surprise, we went back to the zoo to check out the Breakfast With Orang Utans with friends (overpriced, not worth it!) and the new Frozen Tundra polar bear exhibit (cool!). Next time, we'll visit in the afternoon as B is up longer and can catch more live shows.  We also went to the Maritime Experiential Museum and Aquarium (nice, esp. the spider crabs, jellyfish and dolphins). Here's other animal adventure places we hoped to/will visit as there wasn't enough time to see them all! 

Personal:
- Hearing B say "I love you" (sounds more like "I low you") melts my heart :)
- I know I've said it earlier, but the Big Red Barn opened up a world of language, esp. speech for him.  He comes up with 3-word descriptors like "big purple ball" (i.e. my yogilates ball) and "dark blue sky" (the view from his window when he wakes). Loves to make animal and vehicle sounds, say opposites thanks to Dr Seuss (big/small, in/out, up/down, high/low), colours (primary+secondary+some tertiary), numbers (1-10) and family names. His thirst for books seemed to have grown exponentially too. He demands to read "more, more books" every time and delights in finishing up familiar sentences or words. Of course, he repeats interesting new words in English, Malay, Chinese and especially, my in-car swearing :0
- Self feeds when hungry and when he likes his food.  Otherwise, he'll eat with distractions and/or help.  Developed a temporary bad habit of throwing down his spoon/fork/food when done or cranky, but that's stopped now since I told him off with frequent reminders to put it down on the table (practicing les gros yeux!)
- Naps are still too short but nights are great so we're rolling with it. I get my downtime or work done at night, spend quality time with him in the mornings, try to take him out each day with a special/ family outing once a week
- Potty training still ongoing, slow and easy.  Undies at home, diapers when out
- All in, it's been a pretty awesome though tiring month.  Gratifying to see the effort pay off, esp. when I wonder what's become of me and where I'm headed this year....

Growing up sage

Pamela Druckerman's Bringing Up Bébé was a rather different read from the usual parenting books so far.  I was quite surprised that French parenting (in the early years at least) resonated with my own East meets West blend so far.  I don't agree with it all, esp. the non-attachment-friendly actions and a rather socialist approach to do what others do with minimal individual affirmation.  

YET I do appreciate some elements, mainly:

• Help him grow up sage (wise and calm) as well as éveillé (awakened, alert, stimulated). A child in control of himself, absorbed in activities with doucement (gently, carefully), mindful of himself with no n'importe quoi acts without regard or consideration for others 
• Have a cadre (framework) where firm limits are set within which tremendous freedom is given
• Focus on the right éducation (upbringing) rather than discipline
• Teach him to attend (wait... stop!) by self entertainment/distraction and not be an enfant roi  who is constantly at the center of attention. Building patience and delayed gratification will help with the caprices during the tantrum-throwing frustrations
• Reinforce FOUR magic words: "Hello, "Bye," "Please" and "Thank You" 
• Small acts of foolishness (bêtise) call for moderate responses but major acts require a firm non, les gros yeux (that LOOK of admonishment) and punishment with serious consequences
• Equilibre (balance) includes not letting being a parent overwhelm your life. Don't become a daily maman-taxi (tough one, that) 
• Goûter (afternoon snack) is the ONLY snack of the day beyond the three square meals, ideally together with family
• Allow autonomie, a blend of independence and self-reliance early on, including separation from parents such as école maternelle (free public pre-school) from the year the child turns 3 and colonie de vacances (kids' summer camps) from four years on
• Practice complicité, the mutual understanding that parents and caregivers try to develop with children from birth.  Small babies are perceived as rational beings, with whom adults can have reciprocal, respectful relationships. Note: several baby experts would disagree...
• ... which leads to French "sleep teaching" aka the PAUSE, typically by 4 months. My take on this is not that every newborn parent must sleep train by letting their baby cry.  Rather, consider waiting a little before responding to let baby learn to sleep on his own in between cycles, and then enter to determine if it truly is hunger, a dirty diaper, anxiety, et al.  This gradual "wait" approach worked for us even though we never liked or resorted to full cry-it-out

Caveat: The lowest grade I got in college was in French, so pardon any errors

Month 5 Week 3: Routine matters

In a week's time, B will be half a year old.  Motherhood hasn't necessarily gotten easier but perhaps I'm learning to adapt to (and to some extent, accept) this new "lifestyle."  I started a regular newsletter of highlights, tips and photos with B's caregivers and closest family members, got to know more moms with similar aged babies in my condo complex, church and also through the local Meet Up groups.  

Mommy lessons:

1. Mutual weaning:  There are many days when I struggle to find my equilibrium. It's almost like I need to wean myself from B just as he starts to wean from breastmilk to solids. How to ensure I have time for other stuff including self and couple care?  First things first. After a quick breakfast, I go into his room to watch him and join in a short cat nap, check mail and do my QT. 
2. Elusive sleep - Just when you think you've cracked the "schedule," it changes :( - B used to sleep through the night from 9p to 5a but now wakes up intermittently, usually crying out loud and needing help to settle back down just like his first few months. It could be that he's subconsciously processing all the stimuli. Some babies have difficulty sleeping when they're facing major developmental milestones like rolling, sitting, crawling, walking, talking and new people or environments.  Meanwhile, I'm re-tweaking his daily routine to hopefully help:  6a wake up, 7a brekkie, 8a bath, 9a nap #1, 11a lunch, 1p nap #2, 3p milk, 5p nap #3, 6p outdoor time (weather/baby permitting), 630p dinner, 7p sponge bath/quiet down, 8p bed time - with one late night/early morning milk feed as needed ... and mommy pumping and getting her own stuff done in between.  Wish us luck!

3. Mosquito magnet: The weather has been insufferably hot.  Even though we live on a high floor, there was an outbreak of mozzies (and roaches), and B got 4 nasty bites on his left leg, right elbow and chubby cheek (!) despite all our best attempts.  He hasn't recovered as quickly vs previous bites/cuts, and sadly, these have left quite a scar too.  We've tried turning on the aircon, using spray, lotion, patches, those-things-you-put-below. Maybe we'll get a baby-safe fan next....  Help?

B milestones:

1. Check up: At 5.5 months, B weighed 8.5 kg (18.7 lbs), 69 cm long (27") with a 42.5 cm (16.7") head circumference -- over 90 percentile now!
2. Eating 3 "meals" a day with milk and water to supplement: So far, so good.  Has tried cereal (rice, corn, buckwheat, quinoa), carrots, sweet potato, pumpkin, green beans.  Next: Fruit purees
3. Physical: He stands with support, in fact, B tends to always push up when/wherever he can; sits tripod style - propped up on arms and/or rests on his elbows, lifts head 90 degrees and scans 180 degrees; rolls tummy-to-side (though it's still one sided for now); wiggles forward; uses a two-handed embracing reach; significantly improved dexterity with his fingers and legs (reaches, grasps, transfers from hand to hand/mouth), cranes neck forward to see or eat.  Next: Block play, sorting, crawling?
4. Language/social: Shapes mouth to change sounds; mimics sounds, inflection, gestures; blows bubbles; laughs hilariously when tickled, makes motions for attention (flapping arms to be picked up, babbles, coughs, even shrieks; develops better depth perception; gazes intently; tracks accurately
5. Cognitive: Interested in colours. In the mornings, I read his Scholastic baby colourbook and then point out all the items that match the colours around us. Forms mental images of what to expect when given a cue (baby signing will pay off soon I hope); Becomes aware that people and things have labels (who's your mommy, B?); learns which sounds and gestures get a response; shows decision-making expressions with mouth and hand; figures out objects; Changes hand position to touch objects.

Month 3 Week 1: 3 month upgrades

The "fourth" trimester brought along several upgrades. Some were unexpected, but each contributed to give us fuller hearts, a livelier home and an increasingly alert and active baby boy.  To be honest, motherhood is very much a work-in-progress but I do feel more confident and less anxious with B each passing day.

Mommy lessons:

1. Healthy sleep habits, happy child ... and family too: B's nap and sleep time were disrupted by all the Chinese New Year activity. Unfortunately, that brought back the overtired fussy baby (who we thought we'd literally put to bed by week 6) who needs to be rocked to sleep.  After several exhausting days, we bought a bouncer (the Baby Bjorn Babysitter Balance Air - a true Godsend!) and I introduced a sleep schedule: 7/8a wake up, 3 naps (9/10a, after the mid-day feed, 5/6p) leading into his 9/10p "longer bedtime" before the day starts again at dawn. It isn't easy to enforce this with the hubby who comes home late and B's many caregivers and visitors but I'm determined to give him the 15 hours sleep needed for his age. 
2. Tummy time is good for you, boy: B hates to exercise (who does?!) and makes me look like a slavedriver when others are around to witness his complaints and whimpers. What does mama do? Sneak in playmat time when the critics aren't around, carry/burp him head-over-shoulder and allow daytime naps on his tummy (supervised of course). It's paid off - his neck is stronger, the flat spots (!) on the back of his head get a breather ... plus, I don't seem so evil anymore! 
3. One unexpected "upgrade": I am now a full time mom.  I'd intended to return to work after my four-month maternity leave (i.e. end of February) and had scoped out infant care centers to accomodate that. However, recent personal and office developments led us down a different path. When I tendered at work last week, I felt really conflicted -- guilty for wanting to work and guilty for choosing not to. It'll take time to get used to saying "I'm a stay-at-home mom" vs "I work as X at Y" but I know that this opportunity, however brief, is a blessing and B will be the better for it.  No regrets.

Baby milestones:

1. Sleeping "through the night:" About two weeks ago (from week 11 onwards), B started regularly skipping one of his night feeds, i.e. waking up just once for a feed between 8p and 8a. As I'm still breastfeeding, I kept waking up every 4-5 hours to express and check on him but eventually realised that he's REALLY sleeping ~7 hours straight overnight (or at least can quietly self-soothe). What bliss!  I'm enjoying these extra hours of rest after months of sleep deprivation.  Pray for no relapses and longer night sleep.
2. Physical development:  B does mini push ups, moves his head side to side with greater ease (though he still favours one side more), opens up and clasps his fingers together, reaches for, grips and shakes his rattles, blankie, crib mobile, kick-and-play piano, books, mommy's T-shirt, etc... and his all-time-favourite - sucks his fist (and thumb).  He briefly sits upright when propped up and can roll over while supported too. 
3. Social development:  B really enjoys his 1-1 time of chatting, storytelling and singing. He smiles socially, pouts and chuckles on occasion (i.e. when playing peek-a-boo or funny faces) and imitates sticking his tongue out. He vocalises different combination vowels and different tones now and has new distinct  "babbles" when he's hungry, tired, angry, bored, etc.
4. New year, new things: We had to upgrade him to a convertible cot bed earlier (thanks, 爷爷) after he got stuck in his crib at night for the umpteenth time. He's also outgrown his moses basket, newborn/0-3 month diapers, mits, booties, socks and vests. We've now switched over to 3-6 month and even some 6-12 month clothes, and passed the rest on to other expectant mom friends.  As for swaddling, forget it!  B is too active -- and no amount of wrapping can keep him cosy and warm.  We've started using sleeping bags instead and they work like a dream.

Week 24: Pregnancy insomnia?

I don't need an alarm clock. Baby's moving regularly and I'm turning every 4-5 hours each night. Unfortunately when I'm up, it's tough to get back down, esp. when the hubby's snores seem louder than ever now and my mind is on overdrive. While some might say this is good practice for the sleepless months after birth, I say, noooo.... shouldn't I be getting as many zzzzs as I can NOW?

So... in my quest to go back to sleep, here's my insomnia-induced blog post:

1) Go to bed drowsy - bedtime snacks, warm showers, mindless reading/surfing
2) Avoid caffeine/lots of water/exercise/too heavy or spicy meals in the evening
3) No serious discussions before or in bed with the hubby (!)
4) Jot down thoughts and to-dos (think wand and Pensieve)
5) Relax, do Kegels or pray before sleeping
6) Regulate your sleep and wake cycle
7) Keep the bedroom cool and ambient - no bright lights, TV or laptop
8) Get up if none of the above works and blog :)